Tomorrow may be Hell

I mentioned in an earlier blog that I was going to write series of postings about my work as a writer.  I have published the first two novels in the Thomas O'Shea series with #3 to published, I'm told, in December.  I was working on #4 when I felt I was a bit stale, and besides, there was an idea for another novel, a different kind of novel, that my imagination thrust upon me. So I wrote it.  I don't like the working title, but I must say I am pleased with the novel.  It's in the genre called "upmarket fiction" which is supposed to be a combination of literary fiction and commercial fiction.  It's supposed to be 35 chapters.  I have written 34.  But I don't know how to finish the book.  So, I have gone back and revised, hoping to unlock the key to that elusive last chapter.

Nevertheless, the last three days have been very good writing days as I have struggled to make chapters better.  Neil Gaiman said, "Tomorrow may be hell, but today was a good writing day, and on the good writing days nothing else matters."

The last three days have been good writing days.  However, I must say that other things matter, so there.

After several hours writing and revising today, my brain is tired and I plan to take a nap, enjoy dinner with my bride, play with my dog, Lily, winner for the second consecutive year as "Best In The Universe" at the Intergalactic Dog Show on Pluto.  Maybe watch some episodes of "Hell on Wheels" on Netflix.  I recommend the gritty series about building the transcontinental railroad, a project I remember well, my 4th grade class taking a field trip to see the progress out of Council Bluffs, Iowa.

Writing is hard, but I love it.  More later on when and if I can write Chapter 35.

Writing Wednesday Writer's Plug

Now that Memorial Day is over and June is here, many of you are planning vacations - to the beach, to the mountains, to the back yard.  When that happens, a grand old American tradition is to get one's hands on novels with page-turning plots, colorful characters, humor, and maybe even a bit of mystery and action.  Ideally, romance is sprinkled into the mix with healthy portions. I would like to make two recommendations, knowing that these novels include all of the above ingredients for a good read.  I know this because I wrote them, and here they are:  Signs of Struggle in which the protagonist, Thomas O'Shea, who has lost his family in a tragic car accident, comes upon a beautiful woman, bloody and screaming, running down a country road.  He considers not helping; after all, he has his own issues, but his heroic side wins out, one thing leads to another, and he discovers an enormous plot to sell tens of millions of dollars' worth of prime Iowa farmland.  He starts snooping into the situation and then people try to discourage him.  Attempts are made on his life, but O'She is a tough guy with nothing to lose as he struggles with the loss of his family, drinking, women, and his guilt for precipitating so much violence in the little town where he now lives.  Ron Rash (Serena, The World Made Straight, Above the Waterfall, The Cove) says "Signs of Struggle is both a gripping murder mystery and a compelling study of one man's recovery from tragedy.  John Carenen is a gifted writer and his novel is an impressive debut."

My second recommendation is the sequel to Signs of Struggle and is entitled A Far Gone Night.  Suffering from insomnia, O'Shea goes for a late-night stroll and finds himself pausing on a bridge over the river that runs through the peaceful Iowa town of Rockbluff.  When he glances downstream, he sees the body of a dead girl. Teaming up with his friends Lunatic Mooning and Clancy Dominquez, an old buddy from Navy SEAL days, the men set out to bring justice to the dead girl, a quest that takes them to the Chalaka Reservation in Minnesota, seedy businesses adjacent to the Chalaka Casino, and straight into the world of organized crime.  Quirky characters fro my first novel, a fast-paced story, and laugh-out-loud moments continue to enliven the complex world of Thomas O'Shea.  Wendy Tyson (Killer Image, Deadly Asset, Dying Brand, A Muddied Murder) says, "Carenen has done it again.  Beautifully written ... A Far Gone Night doesn't disappoint."

So, whether you are headed for the beach or just enjoying your front porch, I am confident these two novels (the third in the series is at the publisher) will bring pleasure to your summer reading.  You can find them at Amazon books, of course.  If  you I've in the South Carolina Upstate, where I live, you can pick up both novels at both Fiction Addiction and Joe's Place in Greenville and My Sister's Store in Travelers Rest.  Also in "TR" as we call it, the novels are available at As the Page Turns (Southern Writers section) and The Cafe at Williams Hardware.  Just ask if you can't find them.  They're there.

So, I hope you'll pick up these novels, enjoy them, and say "I'm Facebook friends with this author!"

Everyday is #WritingWednesday

how_to_overcome_writers_block

Soon I will be a full-time writer which, frankly, scares the crap out of me. As I phase out, over the next few months, my time as a professor, I will be face to face with what I always wanted to be, 

said

 I was going to be, and now 

must

 be; that is, a writer. Not a part-time dalliance, not a self-absorbed "hobby," not anything else but one of those odd people identified as - a "writer." No excuses. Time to produce. So be it.

Gordon B. Hinckley said, "All writers should be put in a box and thrown in the sea." He might be right, but I will not be thwarted.  I will have to learn to say so long to procrastination, excuse-making, and most of my time on Facebook. I will have to produce. I will have to be a bit selfish with my time. I will have to be disciplined! A novel, and then another. Maybe a short story. A new novel.

I have no expectations of best-sellers, movie contracts, interviews on TV, ever-aware of Flannery O'Connor's quote about expecting too much which produces a softness that can lead to bitterness. I will write, revise, edit, and send off my work. Then I'll start something new. How weird is that?

I will develop a thick skin.

I will be disciplined. I will put in the research. I will seek critique from honest people I respect.

But to be honest, I'm not so sure I can avoid what the tremendous author, James Lee Burke, calls "corrosive self-doubt" that afflicts all writers of all genres. That's the ugly thing that can intimidate.

I'll keep you posted, dear reader, as I gradually ease into my new life as a writer. Shall I purchase a beret?

Everyday is #WritingWednesday

Soon I will be a full-time writer which, frankly, scares the crap out of me.  As I phase out, over the next few months, my time as a professor, I will be face to face with what I always wanted to be, said I was going to be, and now must be; that is, a writer.  Not a part-time dalliance, not a self-absorbed "hobby," not anything else but one of those odd people identified as - a "writer."  No excuses.  Time to produce.  So be it.

Gordon B. Hinkley said, "All writers should be put in a box and thrown in the sea."  He might be right, but I will not be thwarted.  I will have to learn to say so long to procrastination, excuse-making, and most of my time on Facebook.  I will have to produce.  I will have to be a bit selfish with my time.  I will have to be disciplined!  A novel, then another.  Maybe a short story.  A new novel.

I have no expectations of best-sellers, movie contracts, interviews on TV, ever-aware of Flannery O'Connor's quote about expecting too much which produces a softness that can lead to bitterness.  I will write, revise, edit, and send out my work.  Then I'll start something new.  How weird is that?

I will develop a thick skin.

I will be disciplined.  I will put in the research.  I will seek critique from honest people I respect.

But to be honest, I'm not sure I can avoid what the tremendous author, James Lee Burke, calls the "corrosive self-doubt" that afflicts all writers of all genres.  That the ugly thing that can intimidate.

I'll keep you posted, dear reader, as I gradually ease into my new life as a writer.  Shall I purchase a beret?

I'm afflicted

One of my goals this Spring Break was to finish the first draft of novel #3 in the Thomas O'Shea series. Just a few chapters, going back a bit and making minor revisions, forging ahead. Well, I did it. I finished the final chapter, Chapter 30. I tried to avoid finishing it, to be honest. I have what the great James Lee Burke calls "corrosive self-doubt," which is an affliction all writers suffer.  I dawdled. I dallied. I thought of other things I could do besides finish that last, short, chapter. I played "monster" with my dog, chasing her around the cottage, a game she loves. I got on Facebook for a while. I read up on the Hawkeyes, the Red Sox, political scandals. I went back to my computer.   I finished, immediately followed by a sense of satisfaction, a sense of imminent doom, a bit of sadness that it was over. But I finished. Next step? Well, I mean to put it away until May, and then I'll go full bore making revisions, some major, most minor. I have to get all the names straight, the timelines accurate, the details nailed down, maybe more research to review, the loose ends tied up. But I love that part of being a writer as well.   Next step after that? Off to my publisher and start to write again.   Being a writer is an affliction, but it is a delightful one, especially when a work is finished. And I did that. Now I can spend my valuable time watching March Madness. Of course, there's some writing I need to do.

The beat goes on.

Artist Interview: John Carenen

Thanks so much for the interview, LeeAnn! Artist Interview: John Carenen.

My Writing Process

This week, I'm participating in a blog tour for writers.  Each writer answers four questions about their writing and tags a few more authors to do the same next week.  I'd like to thank Barbara V. Evers of  http://aneclecticmuse.blogspot.com who tagged me for this week.  Barbara writes epic fantasy and I can't wait get my hands on a copy of The Watchers of Moniah.

Now, on to the questions!

What am I working on?  

Right now I'm working on the third book in the Thomas O'Shea series. Book one, Signs of Struggle, was a success, and book two, A Far Gone Night is coming out on September 9th. I'm eight chapters into book three and looking forward to completing a first draft by the summer's end. I'm also trying to be faithful to my blog, "CurlyLarryandMe."

 

How does my book differ from others of its genre? 

Good question, because my books don't really fit any specific genre. They're just stories with the same protagonist and supporting cast of characters with weird names (Lunatic Mooning, Bunza Steele, Harmon Payne) in an obscure setting - a small town in northeastern Iowa. My books are different in that the protagonist is not a P.I., a retired cop, or any other standard protagonist. He's just a middle-aged guy who's lost his wife and two daughters in an automobile accident a couple years back and is trying to work out his approach to God, alcohol, violence, and relationships with the opposite sex while maintaining a kind of "tough guy" code.

 

Why do I write what I do? 

It all started with the Stephen King approach of, "What if?" I then thought about what would be the worst thing that could happen to me, and that would be losing my family in an automobile accident. What would I do? So I took that idea and applied it to Thomas O'Shea and came up with Signs of Struggle. To me, the story is everything, and writing from a first person point of view makes the story more intimate.

 

How does my writing process work? 

Of course, I'm always writing in my head and making notes here and there, but I'm pretty disciplined, writing when I can during the school year (I'm an English prof) and, when summer comes, sitting down from 8-12 and working. It's fun, especially in the summer because I know I'll have the time to really dig in and let 'er fly. I also have more time to do research, which I enjoy. I try to write a first draft in the summer (keeping in mind Hemingway's observation that all first drafts are "vomit") and then polish and shape after that during the year. Also, we host at our cottage, twice a month, an eclectic group of writers in a group we call "The Write Minds" which is useful for critique, suggestions, and insights. They're a little crazy, but talented and astute. They find my blind spots. That's about it on process.

 

Make sure to follow the tour next week (June 30) with the following authors:

 

Warren Moore

 Dr. Moore received his B.A. in English from Excelsior College, his M.A. in English from the University of Kentucky, and his Ph.D. in British, American and World Literature from Ball State University. His Ph.D. work focused on representations of evil in literature, with particular attention to medieval literature, and a dissertation on the Seven Deadly Sins in pre-Shakespearean English drama. He was named Newberry’s Professor of the Year in 2006 by the College’s Student Government Association, and was named a South Carolina Governor’s Distinguished Professor in 2008.

Prior to joining the faculty at Newberry College in 2003, Dr. Moore worked in jobs ranging from magazine editor and freelance journalist to stand-up comic. He is a regular contributor to the New Chaucer Society’s annual bibliography, and to The American Culture, an online magazine. Moore's first novel, Broken Glass Waltzes, was published by Snubnose Press in 2013.

Blog: http://profmondo.wordpress.com
E-mail: prof.mondo.blog@gmail.com
Twitter: @profmondo

Dave Newell

Dave Newell was born and raised in the Midlands of South Carolina. After graduating in 2007 with a bachelor's degree in Broadcast Journalism, he moved to Greenville, South Carolina where he currently lives with his family.

Red Lory his first novel, was published in 2013 and the film version is currently in production.

Blog: www.davenewell.net
FB: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Dave-Newell/252369344883063

Twitter: @davenewell
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Dave-Newell/e/B00A13EFG6/ref=sr_tc_2_0?qid=1403526770&sr=1-2-ent

A Meeting of the Minds

Last Saturday morning a local writers group, The Write Minds, met at the Carenen Cottage, as they do on the first Saturday of each month, and the third Wednesday evening. There were ten of us there with a broad spectrum of ages, two of the three sexes, and a variety of genres. Represented that morning were published and unpublished novelists, published and unpublished poets, a man writing a book on personal finance, and a lady who writes haiku. What a group! But I'm writing this just to say that it was a terrific morning, aided somewhat by not only the congenial atmosphere, but Dunkin Doughnuts, coffee (with Bailey's Irish Creme available to improve the beverage), and a variety of teas. So we all sat around and took turns sharing what we wrote, receiving constructive feedback taking into account excellent work and work that isn't excellent just yet. In short, we helped each other

We enjoyed ourselves from 9:30 until shortly after 12 Noon, and the time just whisper-jetted away. It was beautiful outside and inside. And I loved it. We were enjoying ourselves and looking forward already to the next gathering.

A fine morning, indeed. That's all I wanted to share, dear reader - that is, a good thing that made every one of us happy. A simple thing. A gift.

Just what do you think you're doing, John?

I have conversations with my chair. You need to understand this is not an ordinary chair. This is a new chair that my long-suffering wife, Lisa, bought for me on the sly, assembled herself, and set it before my computer. It is a beauty, and it knows it. Sort of like Lisa's self-absorbed cat, Bernadette.

Anyway, it is a wonderful chair and it invites me to sit in it and write.

"I am comfortable, John. Here, come sit and write."

"I know you're comfortable, but I'm busy procrastinating right now," I say.

"I am adjustable up and down."

"I know."

"I can go round and round, spinning like a top. It's fun!"

"I know that, too," I say.

"I can rock."

"I agree, you definitely rock, being comfortable, adjustable, and spinning-capable," I admit.

Most days, this new chair does not need to entice me. Most days I am motivated enough that I go there willingly, without conversation. Like today, as I write this, and prepare to send it on to my book concierge, Rowe Copeland.

But now it is time to get up and attend to some chores, yet I hesitate, afraid to hurt its feelings. You see, the chair has taught me to say, "I appreciate you" whenever I get up and go away for a while. And after I say that, it responds with, "You're welcome, John. See you again. Soon." This reality makes me nervous. Makes me think of Hal, the computer, in Stanley Kubrick's epic film, "2001, A Space Odyssey."

The voices are similar, soft, mellifluous, easy on the ears. Hypnotic.

Maybe I'll stick around and write something more. Another blog, a letter to my congressman, a note to an old friend. Surely I can come up with something to keep me in the chair. I mustn't make it angry, it is so comfortable. One could get lost in its lovely contours. Maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a moment, maybe doze off, perchance to dream, to dream, to . . .

Keeping Tabs on Thomas

It's a good feeling to finish something that took nearly six months, and to be pleased with it. I'm talking about completing the sequel to Signs of Struggle, my debut novel in the general fiction field. I had no intention of writing a sequel, seeing SOS as a stand-alone story about a man in mid-life struggling with his demons and partly succeeding. Then my publisher said her mother wanted more about Thomas O'Shea, my protagonist. The publisher echoed her mom. And then several people who read SOS said they wanted to know more about Thomas. So I thought, okay, I can do that. And now I have. The sequel, A Far Gone Night, continues the story of Thomas O'Shea and his stumbling pursuit of the lovely and prickly Olivia Olson. All the usual wackos show up again, led by Lunatic Mooning, the Ojibwa Indian who runs The Grain o' Truth Bar & Grill in sleepy Rockbluff, Iowa. And there's also Sheriff Harmon Payne, Arvid Pendergast (who keeps playing dead to boost his business), and the rather straightforward barkeep/rassler/future surgeon - Bunza Steele. New characters include Clancy Dominguez, ex-SEAL friend of Thomas, and Boots Bednarik, bookstore owner. And of course there is the alluring and persistent writer, Suzanne Highsmith.

Throw these characters together and toss in a nude, dead body of an Indian girl floating in the Whitetail River, and things get interesting and interestinger. I'll keep you posted. Next stop: My book concierge, the gifted and talented Rowe Copeland, and then off to the publisher. No idea when the book will be ready to pick up, but I'll let you know.

Now, while sitting in a faculty meeting earlier this week, I found myself sketching notes for book number three in the life of Thomas O'Shea. And thank you all who purchased SOS and have even recommended it to your book clubs. What fun! I love writing!

The ladies, they love me (or, more accurately, Thomas)

In the last few days I've had two very interesting people provide observations on my debut novel, Signs of Struggle. They are both female, astute, interesting, and opinionated. They are also well-read. One is twelve years old and the other is ninety. The 12-years-old girl is the precocious daughter of one of my colleagues at the college, and has become a big fan of SOS. She gobbled the book up and declared it good and much better than anything written for people her age. She said, "It's got lots of action and moves fast and I liked the colorful characters. Much better than YA novels about teen angst." You gotta love it.

The other reader is my wife's aunt who lives in North Carolina and is a voracious reader herself. Her daughter (my wife's cousin) came to a book signing and bought two copies - one for herself and one for her mature mother. The seasoned citizen is a strong Southern Baptist, god-fearing, and wonderful woman who is an example of virtue and humility for all in the family to emulate. We went to visit her recently and she had not only read the book, but offered several observations, including one that I had been too hard on the pastor (a corrupt individual on several fronts). I reminded her that he was not a Southern Baptist, which eased things a bit. She went on to say she enjoyed the book and was curious about how things were going to work out between Thomas O'Shea, the protagonist, and Liv Olson, his romantic interest. I told her to please stay tuned, that the sequel, A Far Gone Night, might be available by Christmas.

Although some have characterized SOS as "a man's book," others have characterized it as "mainstream fiction," and still others call it a "detective series," it is important to note that it definitely appeals to a very comprehensive spectrum of readers, both sexes, and a multitude of ages.

If you haven't picked up a copy, consider doing so. I'm pretty sure you won't be disappointed.

*&%^$#@^*&^$

Asshole. Shit. Fuck. These words do not offend me; after all, I’ve been around a long time and in a lot of places, including the military. To be offended means I have to take offense, and I don’t. I pray these first three words of my blog do not offend you, dear reader. But they do indicate what I call the coarsening of America. English is the language with the largest lexicon in the world, so why not take the time to come up with a better way of expressing strong feelings? I know those first three words of this blog are used for emphasis. While it works, it saddens me to see them used so often, especially in the social media. In literature, I understand. In movies, I’m not so sure. But when I go to Facebook those words are all over the place. See for yourself.

That’s not to say I’ve never used such strong Anglo-Saxonisms myself. But I do rarely, and only in my private, personal life, when no one is around. At specific times. Such as when I see a snake. By surprise.

Instead of writing, “Fuck you, England, you assholes are full of shit,” this Irish guy wrote “A Modest Proposal.” And isn’t that better?

Wonder as I wander

Sunday, February 3rd, was teh 54th anniversary of the deaths of Buddy Holly, The Big Bopper (J.P. Richardson of "Chantilly Lace" fame), and Richie Valens ("Donna," "La Bamba," etc.).  They were killed in a plane crash in Iowa, where I happened to be living at the time.  A big story.  Theyhad finished a performance at the Surf Ballroom in Clear Lake and were headed for the next stop when Buddy chartered a four-seater plane, going on ahead while the rest of his group would take a bus.  The plane crashed shortly after takeoff into a blizzard.  The pilot was not trained in instrument flying, and the crash killed everyone.  Buddy Holly was 22 years old.

Someone had posted the anniversary on Facebook, and I commented that Holly had $193 on him when he died.  Several people have wondered, with some trepidation, how I knew that.

It's because I'm a writer.

I am doing research on my sequel to Signs of Struggle, a Thomas O'Shea Mystery.  The second in the series is called A Far Gone Night.  Thomas, while taking a lonely walk in the middle of the night, discovers a woman's body in the river that runs through the Iowa village where he lives nearby.  The death is ruled a suicide and ... , but, well, nevermind.  The point is, I had to know a little bit about coronoer's reports, death certificates, who has access to such information and so forth.  And, in the process, I bumped up against a copy of Buddy Holly's coroner's report.  Not pleasant reading (his injuries were catastrophic) but useful.  It cataloged his effects, including money on the body.

As a writer, I engage in considerable research to make sure I don't write something stupid, or inaccurate.  Actually, I enjoy the research, and I learn things.  Imagine!

One final fascinating bit that came from my research.  Buddy Holly and a person in his band kidded each other about which one of them would take the last seat on the plane, and Holly won out.  He joked, "I hope your ol' bus freezes up."  The bandmate kidded back, saying, "Well, I hope your ol' plane crashes."  The person who took the bus was Waylon Jennings.  He said his last words to Buddy Holly haunted him for decades.

On my way to where I need to be

John Irving once wrote that he spent half his life revising. I can relate, with multiple revisions made on my first novel, Signs of Struggle, before I turned it loose. SOS is the first of a series of mystery novels featuring Thomas O'Shea. Stephen King said the scariest part about writing is just before you write the first word. And Elmore Leonard said that if it sounded like writing, he'd revise. Think about that one for a while and it actually does make sense.

I am well into the sequel to SOS, working title, A Far Gone Night. But this is after two false starts where I wrote two chapters and twice completely deleted both chapters. They were boring ME! Yikes! 

But now I'm on my way to where I need to be, so you Thomas O'Shea fans who want to know more about him and who want to again enjoy Lunatic Mooning, Bunza Steele, and Liv Olson, please be patient. I will keep you posted.

Signs of Struggle Sequel....

Some writer once said that there is real fear when beginning to write something new. There is that blank page, or screen, and nothing to build on. Just the author and the idea and all that can be, or not. I admit, it is a little scary, but I am a writer, and I understand. And I've been pleased to have several people (including my publisher) who read Signs of Struggle tell me that they wanted a sequel; that the characters were fun, and more would be just fine with them. So here I go.

The novel's working title is A Far Gone Night and it will pick up where SOS ended, with Thomas finally able to look forward to the next stage in his life. I'm not for sure what's going to happen, what the big conflicts will be, but that's part of the fun of writing. Interesting things can emerge, and that's a kind of magic. But the magic doesn't occur until the writing begins.

I'll keep you posted, dear readers. Let's see now, how should I begin? Maybe,"'It was the best of times, it was the worst of times . . . " Better not. How 'bout, "In the beginning . . . " Nope. Has a nice ring to it, but it's been done by a better writer than I.

Guess I'll go with: "Covington was the name of the Georgia State Trooper who told me my family was dead." Stay tuned.

Happy Humility

Did the excitement of having my debut novel published on Monday go away? Nope. It's still there. And my Book Concierge is scheduling readings/signings here in the southeast, with more to come in the spring when I'm free of teaching duties and the book has had more exposure. Now, please remember if you are so inclined to purchase Signs of Struggle, consider supporting the small, indy book publisher in its competition with the big guys. Neverland Publishing is the place to go, although SOS is also available through Amazon and, very soon, Kindle.

I've been humbled many times in my life. Having bad eyes and trying to hit a curve ball was pretty humbling. Lots of cases like that, but being humbled by having something very good happen to me is much, much better. Everything about this novel is humbling; that Neverland Publishing took a chance with me and proved to be fine people; that several people I respect said nice things about the story (Ron Rash, anyone?), and that others are as happy for me as I am for myself.

I know what I deserve, and this is a lot better than that. Blessings, everyone.

https://www.createspace.com/3951252

Into the breach...

It is actually going to happen, friends. My debut novel, Signs of Struggle, is going to be available on Monday, October 15th on Kindle through Amazon and paperback wherever books are sold (stay tuned for a listing of book tour spots at independent bookstores).  It's been a long road going from a beginning writer back in high school creative writing class to a published novelist. Talk about living a dream. This coming Friday a dear friend and fellow novelist is hosting a Launch Party to celebrate the occasion, and I look forward to being among fellow writers and friends (the same people, often) to celebrate.

I am grateful to the enduring and wise encouragement over the years from my wife, Lisa, who kept saying, 'John, you're a good writer - better than some who are being published.' Wonderful wife, for sure. And my daughters, Rowe and Caitlin, have been right there with Lisa.

I encourage you to pick up a copy. Signs of Struggle is a good read. And thanks for reading my blog.

Have I stopped writing, satisfied with publication? No. I will always write. Another project is in the works as I speak. Writers write.

Smoothing out the Struggle

Writing is hard, but proofreading is harder. That's what I've been doing the last couple of days, going through my novel, Signs of Struggle, and ferreting out every little mistake, smoothing out a few rough patches, and doing a tad bit of rewriting (I gave one very minor character two names - not smart). It's not much fun, but it's another part of having a novel published that includes the concept of work. Just a different kind. I think of Gene Fowler's quote that writing is easy, all you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper (or blank screen) until the drops of blood form on your forehead. And that's hard work because Larry Niven, the sci-fi author of The Cold Place reminds us that it's a cardinal sin to bore the reader. Not much pressure there. Or Leonard Elmore's simple advice on how to write well: all you have to do is get rid of the boring parts.

And tomorrow is the first day of classes at Newberry College, and I have a small, talented group of young writers in my Advanced Fiction class. I'm wondering if I should just give them those three quotes above and turn them loose. Probably not. I'm using Stephen King's On Writing as a guide for them, but not a textbook. No quizzes. Just writing about setting, conflict, dialogue and so on. I can't wait.

A warped rascal makes his introduction

I was born in Clinton, Iowa in July a long, long time ago when there were still a few of the smaller dinosaurs  (Procompsognathus, anyone?) scurrying about in the cornfields. I grew up weird, being told by a science teacher in 9th grade that I was "warped," which delighted my classmates, thus securing, on a scientific basis, future behaviors. In that same pivotal freshman year, I was also shown to the principal's office five times for what I would call "being a rascal" but he called it "being an incorrigible." The last visit provoked anger when, threatened to be sent to the State Training School for Boys in Eldora, I asked, innocently, "Do they have a basketball team?" My question went unanswered. In high school, my interest in college was discouraged by guidance counselors, who told me that, if I somehow got into a college, I would have to be a P.E. major. But I liked stories, which I was encouraged to write by Mr. Olson in Creative Writing class my senior year in high school. It all worked out. Also, in high school, I hit myself in the head with a baseball bat. (Don't think about that too much, please.) I earned some college degrees, served in the USAF in the Philippines and Massachusetts, and spent one year hitching around Europe and ending up on a kibbutz in Israel. I am thankful to the USAF for, through them, I met my long-suffering wife, Lisa, who is beautiful, brilliant, and gifted as a teacher. I mean, how would you like to teach 9th graders English all year long? Yet, she loves it and is successful as well, being a National Board Certified educator.

I have traveled in 43 states and 23 countries, fleeing sordid criminal records checks.

We have two grown daughters: Caitlin, a published history professor in New England; and Rowe, a published poet here in South Carolina. So, writing runs deep in our family. As for me, so do rejections. I've had dozens upon dozens, but I've also had the occasional published piece and a check in the mail from time to time. My work has appeared several times in Reader's Digest (including a First Person Award), McCall's, THE SIGN, Dynamic Years, Today's Health, Newberry Magazine and a couple of literary magazines: The Reedy River Review and The Mountain Laurel. I wrote a novel as part of a three-book monograph series for The National Institute of Mental Health (oh, the irony, for someone designated "warped" as a child!), entitled Son-up, Son-down. I also had the privilege of being a featured columnist in the Morganton (N.C.) News Herald and the Clinton (S.C.) Chronicle. Most of my stuff involves making fun of myself. There's just so much material.

I have to admit I'm excited about my forthcoming commercial fiction novel, Signs of Struggle, due out this coming autumn (autumn is a better word than "fall"). When it's ready for purchase, believe me, I'll let you know, and I'll post details along with a synopsis. The greatest influences on my writing, and my favorite authors? Mark Twain, Joseph Heller, Robert B. Parker, Ron Rash, Sherri Reynolds, and Marilyn Robinson pretty much tell the story.

Now, a word about the title of my blog, "Curly, Larry, and me." I love The Three Stooges. That should tell you something. Although I'm an English professor, I am not an intellectual, a scholar, or a grammarian. I just love stories and I love to write, and the college encourages me in that self-destructive behavior. And my tag line, "Don't ask the question if you can't stand the answer" comes to me from a former Green Beret and SWAT Team member who said that to me once and it stuck.

Enough for this post. I promise to write regularly, faithfully, and on occasion, warpedly. (I told you I am not a grammarian.) Tell your friends if you like my blog. I hope you will. More later.