Applehead calls out the Doo-Doo Heads

One of the universities I considered attending as I left high school was the University of Missouri. They were the only major college that showed interest in me as a basketball player, although to be transparent, they never actually offered me a scholarship.  I was going to study journalism because they were famous for that. Those were the days. Recently, they've been in the news.  What caught my eye was that the students who feel as if something "hurtful" has been said to them are encouraged to call the cops.  Ideally, they will also have a photograph of the rude person and maybe the license number of the verbal assailant's motor vehicle, if they had one.

My high school basketball coach called me lots of "hurtful" words.  I wasn't the only one he hurt with words, but I was the only one he called "apple head."  It brings tears to my eyes just to write about it, so damaged was I.  My friends and I called each other much worse names, the majority of them good, robust, healthy Anglo-Saxonisms that did not require too many letters of the alphabet to spell.  We all survived.  Big deal.

As for the dear students at the University of Missouri looking for hurtful words so they can call the cops, they're just a bunch of snowflakes who would melt easily at first chance.  Besides that, they're all a bunch of doo-doo heads.  Now, go ahead and call the cops on me.


Asshole. Shit. Fuck. These words do not offend me; after all, I’ve been around a long time and in a lot of places, including the military. To be offended means I have to take offense, and I don’t. I pray these first three words of my blog do not offend you, dear reader. But they do indicate what I call the coarsening of America. English is the language with the largest lexicon in the world, so why not take the time to come up with a better way of expressing strong feelings? I know those first three words of this blog are used for emphasis. While it works, it saddens me to see them used so often, especially in the social media. In literature, I understand. In movies, I’m not so sure. But when I go to Facebook those words are all over the place. See for yourself.

That’s not to say I’ve never used such strong Anglo-Saxonisms myself. But I do rarely, and only in my private, personal life, when no one is around. At specific times. Such as when I see a snake. By surprise.

Instead of writing, “Fuck you, England, you assholes are full of shit,” this Irish guy wrote “A Modest Proposal.” And isn’t that better?