Recently, my long-suffering wife and I went to a big box store to shop for a new toilet lid. Don’t ask.
It took us a while in the cavernous facility to find the “Toilet Lid Specialties” aisle, and even longer to find an associate to help us find the proper size to fit our commode. (Lisa always measures such things beforehand to prevent me from making purchases that need to be returned and exchanged.)
While we waited, I perused several displays extolling the benefits of various makes and models of commodes. There were many, but one caught my eye. A glossy, colorful posterboard bragged that this particular product could “flush a bucket of golf balls.” It gave me pause. I wondered and wondered.
How did the company come up with that information? Did they flush a bb at the factory, then a golf ball? Two golf balls? Three? What kind of golf balls? Titleist? Slazenger? Po Do? Did they try other objects to exalt the power of the toilet before sticking with a bucket of golf balls? What about a bowling ball? What about a cat?
A helpful associate appeared and helped us find the right size lid and we were on our way, me wondering about what fun it would have been to field test the sucking power of the latest turbo-powered toilet. A professional career opportunity sadly missed. Oh, what might have been! Oh, what a business card gone unprinted!: “John Carenen, Flushing Specialist – No Job Too Big.”
