Six almonds are not a serving

There are two words that make me laugh. They are, in order, "Serving" and "Size." According to the Oxford English Dictionary, a "serving" is: "a quantity of food suitable for or served to one person." That seems pleasantly vague. One of the definitions of "size" is, according to the OED, "how big something is." I like that.

But when you put them together on a package of food, they become hilarious. For example, I like Blue Diamond almonds. There is a suggested serving size printed right there on the little round container. I ignore it. The container is the proper serving size for my needs. The whole thing. Pizza? A Red Baron medium frozen pizza says that it will serve, according to the label, four persons. No, it does not. It serves ME! Or what about a 16-ounce tube of pork sausage? It's supposed to serve 8 people! Eight! Don't make me laugh. Finally, a package of eight hot dogs? Once again, eight servings.


The food industry is not being realistic. Here's another definition I looked up for you, dear reader: "realistic: having or showing a sensible and practical idea of what can be achieved or expected." So go out, ignore serving size suggestions,