Imma need one of each

Hilarious catalog in the mailbox this week - "Sporty's Tool Shop." I could not believe it, and how I got on their mailing list I'll never know. I have zero facility for tools, projects, and making or repairing things in general. Shop class in junior high school was a nightmare, whether it be wood shop, metal shop, or plastics shop. Zero talent, less interest. However, Sporty does offer a "Powerful Stun Gun and Flashlight" which might come in handy sometime at the Krispy Kreme doughnut shop. The promo makes creative use of language when it brags, "5,000,000 volt Concealed Flashlight Stun Gun ignites a thunderous and intimidating spark inconspicuously . . ." I'd hate to think what Sporty's definition of "conspicuously" might be.