Tax Free Shopping Adventure

On the way to a book event in North Carolina, we took a side trip to an outlet mall in South Carolina. My wife wanted to purchase unmentionables. But we didn't realize not only were droves of people shopping for back to school items for their children, it was also no-tax day. I was feeling as if I'd just kicked over an anthill. People of all sizes, shapes, colors, languages, and attitudes were swarming.

We quickly found the store she wanted and walked in. I should say SHE walked in, because my eyes were assaulted with a vast array of colorful panties, bras, and skimpy sleep ware. I backed out and told Lisa I'd catch up to her later. So, to kill time, I decided to stroll around.

American Eagle.jpg

First stop was an American Eagle store that was brimming over with sale-crazed shoppers plunking down their money for clothes that were 50% off. That was surprising, because the ripped jeans and jean shorts didn't have enough material to take anything off, never mind 50%. In another clothing store, while Lisa was trying something on, I saw a mother-daughter having a good time. The daughter asked, "Mom, does 'sculptured' mean it's supposed to make my butt look better?" I didn't hear the answer.

Coming around a corner, I nearly ran into a couple of high school age. She was high maintenance, believe me. He had a droopy, hang-dog look. In her grating, high-pitched voice she asked, "Well, do you wanna get something to eat?" He replied, in a whiny, simpering voice, "Oh, geez, I don't knowwww." I kept walking.

Finally, I found Lisa, pleased with her purchases, which included the benefit of a "Buy Two - Get Two Free" sale. So she had four unmentionables. One was pink.