I am not an oenologist, nor have I ever been a sommelier, and never will be. Wine is not my passion, but it is my delight. I have tried several hundred over the decades, ranging from a delightful Boone's Farm Strawberry, vintage last week, to a bottle of Merlot that cost over five ($5) dollars! And now I have settled on what I call "The Carenen Cottage Red," a modestly-priced but wonderful full, red wine that we enjoy with everything, even fried possum road kill.
Let me share the label with you by means of explaining my affection for this particular liquid pleasure. What follows is mostly word-for-word from the back of the bottle itself.
'This is a pleasurable, comfortable wine, reflecting the comforts of home. It is a wine for everyday life. It is made from grapes grown in a perfect climate, grapes kissed by soft winds bearing the scent of Zephirine Drouhin roses. To truly appreciate this wine, please withhold judgement until after the sixth glass. And kindly remember that consumption of this beverage might impair your judgment, so you should not operate heavy equipment, automobiles, or trucks if you can't, using both hands, find your derriere. If you are pregnant, don't drink this wine until after the baby is delivered. Then have all you want, behavior which may lead to becoming pregnant again. But that's your problem.
A lack of this wine may cause health problems, surliness, and generally crummy behavior, so drink up!'
If you are interested in acquiring this wine for yourselves, I will give you a hint. It's from California. Cheers!